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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Whats my motivation?

Here is a conversation i overheard recently....

“So what do you do?”
“I’m an accountant.”
“Well that’s interesting.”
“No, trust me, it really isn’t. How ever boring you think it is, its twice as boring as that.”
“…Do you want to hear a good accountant joke?”
“sure, I like a good joke,”
“Ok, Half of all accountants are… Wait, I’m just trying to remember how it goes… Half of all accountants talk about the strength of the pound during foreplay. The other half think talking about the strength of the pound is foreplay.”
“That is good joke.”
“but you didn’t laugh.”
“Sorry honey, I don’t always laugh, doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny.”
“Ok… accounting, its my job, but its not what I really want to do. You see my real passion is acting.”
“like being on TV.”
“No, no defiantly not on TV, I mean real acting, in a theatre.”
“why not TV.”
“I don’t know, I guess, its all done in kind of takes and stops and starts and if it goes badly you just start over again and its not real acting. See real acting is where you stand on the stage and you have to really be your character, completely. you cant just pose in front of a camera until you get it right.”
“yeah I can see that.”
“I mean people on TV are these wannabees who just want to be famous and I don’t want to be famous, I want to actually act.”
“But isn’t it really difficult being on stage in front of all those people.”
“No, no its not, it’s the easiest thing in the world because you have a character and you have lines which tell you exactly what to say and you can study your character in advance and work out exactly how he behaves and what his motivations is and what he will do in the situations he gets into and you can just let the character take over, it’s the easiest thing in the world. This though, this is hard.”
“This. Being here, at this party having to talk to people, talking to you. I have to work out what to say and how to behave and what to do. In fact being on stage I feel so much more comfortable than anywhere else. I just don’t know what to do with myself, I go around and I do my job and do things and I just feel so uncomfortable and all the time I’m thinking ‘what’s my motivation!’.”


Blogger slaghammer said...

A recent conversation between me and Jilly:
Me: Are you going to eat that?
Jilly: Yes.
Me: Can I have it anyway?
Jilly: No, get one of your own.
Me: How about if I eat that one and you go get another one.
Jilly: Bite me! There’s a whole box of them in the kitchen, get off your ass and get your own.
Me: Will you go get the box and bring me a glass of water while you’re in the kitchen?
Jilly: What am I, your servant?
Me: Can I have a bite of yours and a sip of your water?
Jilly: Yeah, here…Goddamnit! You drank all of my water!
Me: Sorry, while your getting a refill, would you mind getting me a glass of water and maybe bring the box back with you?
Jilly: Ok.

11:53 PM  
Blogger Bazza said...

The first thing that strikes me about this post is that you must have tremendous recall. Of course, being Cornealious, you might have simply made it all up.
I love reading snippets of overheard conversations - it must be the voyeur in me! They sometimes seem so surreal or outrageous and are often hilarious, like Slaghammer's above.

1:46 AM  
Blogger Allister said...

love it!

9:00 AM  
Blogger Shady Malingerer said...

Yes, very good. That is all.

5:53 AM  
Blogger mitzibel said...

Is it a bad sign that I actually laughed out loud at the accountant joke?

8:29 AM  
Blogger Cornealius said...

Alice: no its not a bad sign, its a quality joke. It was made up by the comedian Arnold Brown.

4:42 PM  
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Come on Cornealius man, did you take a friggin vacation? I need you to boggle my mind again.

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